I forgot about the glory that is "Today's Nonsense" entries, where nothing you talk about has to make sense, or go together, or flow like a flippin’ little dolphin!  It's great!  Yes, yes great!  And to that all I have to say is…

"You all, everybody!"

Otay… so if you don’t know, don’t ask!  If you do know, yes, I am obsessed!  But that is only cuz it is so stinkin’ funny!  You know… funny… with the ha ha and the he he!  You know… funny!  Apparently you don’t think so… apparently!  Clearly… I mean apparently… you’ve never been to Singapore… apparently!  And clearly… I mean apparently… you are not part of…

"You all, everybody!"

Now speaking of broken toes, I think that mine is!  *pauses for the sympathetic moan that comes from the crowd* Yes, yes!  Yesterday , in the middle of a extravagant rage that came over me due to the lack of Jamba Juice near my new place I kicked the wall!  You see… one cannot live without manna!  Starbucks is stupid and took away my drink of choice (which by the way reminds me that randomness wants to be your raft of choice, “You all, everybody!”), and Coldstone is pretty much nonexistent in my neck of the woods, and Chili's is an hours and hours away drive, and I have now searched far and wide and still cannot find a Jamba Juice!  Finally the outrageous outrage got the best of me!  I found a nice hard part of the wall to kick!  Unfortunately, on my way of walking to the wall, I decided to put some fake grapes on this little shelf over the couch, and stubbed my toe on the stupid foot thingy on the couch!  BASTA!  The only thing that can make me happy again is… you guessed it…

"You all, everybody!"

Alright, kids… it is now time for our daily reading of the Pirate's Bible!  Today's Text: John 3:16-21

“Arrr… for Ye Captain of Life so loved this godforsaken spit of land that he gave His Treasure, that be His one and only Son, that whatever Pirate believes in Him shall not walk the plank, but have everlasting life onboard ship.  For Ye Captain of Life did not send His Treasure into this godforsaken spit of land to condemn it, but to save it through Him, savvy?  Arrrr… whoever believes in this Treasure is not condemned, but whoever does not believe be on the plank prepared to walk because he has not believed in the name of the Captain’s one and only Treasure.  This be the verdict: Light has come into the world, but ye Pirates loved darkness instead of light because ye’r deeds be evil.  Ye Pirates who do evil hate the light and be shakin’ in ye’r boots that ye deeds will be exposed.  But ye Pirates that be in livin’ by the truth, ye come into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that ye holds are bursting with swag by the power of the Captain.  Arrrr…”

"You all, everybody!"

Yesterday was one of my friend's birthdays, so I would quickly like to give a shout out to her!  Happy Birthday, weirdo, and sorry that it is a bit belated!  For your birthday, I would like to send you to Doune, so you can see the castle at which Monty Python and the Holy Grail was filmed at, cuz I know you would love it.  Unfortunately I am poor, so instead of that lovely gift I have decided to sing "happy birthday" you… and speaking of singing…

"You all, everybody!"

I had a really bad day at work today!  I took my small white purse instead of my big black purse because I wore my light gray shoes so that the white tape wrapped around my toes wouldn’t stand out quite so much, and in switching all my stuff from one purse to the other, I forgot to put my lip balm in my little white purse!  *makes yet another slight pause for the audiences reaction of a horrific gasp*  Luckily I am not the only person to have ever gone through such a horrendous experience, and to help in my difficulty, I would like to share this with you…

Napoleon:  Hey can I use your guys's phone for a sec?

Secretary:  Is there anything wrong?

Napoleon:   I don't feel very good.  [takes telephone and dials number]

Kip:  [making nachos on the other line]  Hi.

Napoleon Dynamite:  Is grandma there?

Kip:  No, she's getting her hair done.

Napoleon:  Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Kip:  What do you need?

Napoleon:  Can you just go get her for me?

Kip:  I'm really busy right now.

Napoleon:  Just tell her to come get me.

Kip:  Why?

Napoleon:  Cause I don't feel good!

Kip:  Well, have you talked to the school nurse?

Napoleon:  No, she doesn't know anything.  Will you just come get me?

Kip:  No.

Napoleon:  Well, will you do me a favor then?  Can you bring me my chapstick?

Kip:  No, Napoleon.

Napoleon:  But my lips hurt real bad!

Kip:  Just borrow some from the school nurse.  I know she has like five sticks in her drawer.

Napoleon:  I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!

Kip:  See ya.

Napoleon:  Ugh!  Idiot!

*Empathizes with Napoleon*  I feel for you man!  My lips hurt real bad too!  Luckily I was able to survive the unimaginably awful day, and arrived home to smother my lips in the strawberry goodness!  You know what I am talking about.! 

"You all, everybody!"

A couple of weeks ago when I hung out with a couple of undisclosed (can I use that word or, should I say unnamable?) people at Disneyland, I began reminiscing about Quaker Meadow!  Oh the glory!  Oh the randomness!  Oh the humanity!  Cory eating from the slop bucket off of Mike Kissen’s toes!  Captain, can you imagine the 4-P’s now… with us the way we are now… with spatulas and the dance!  Brrrrrilliant!  I guess they don’t do the mud pit any more (which is good, because why were we the only group ever to have our picture taken while covered in mud?  BASTA!)… suckers… now they have a ketchup and mustard Slip-n-Slide!  Stick-fanta, man!  Stic-fanta!  I remember my favorite part of the week was Bible Smugglers… man… the glory… the shear phenomenal geniusness of the glory (except for the clam juice… what that Chad or Cory or both?)  Ooooh… and doing the Funky Chicken on top of the table… and going to Dome Rock!  Really, all these memories just make me wanna go…

"You all, everybody!"

Have I ever mentioned the fact that I love the Ellen Degeneres show?  Cuz, well, I do!  I can’t talk too much about it, cuz I might never stop, but a couple of quick points!  Last week Ellen talked about LOST… YAY for her, she’s kool now!  Also, a week ago she gave up coffee, and having never been a coffee drinker, I can’t really feel for her, so, never mind!  I have a really good idea for “What are you doing while your watching” segment, that I plan to send in soon, and we all know that I am so random that it is quite likely she will read my e-mail… so keep your eyes peeled for the nonsense!  But until then, here is a random e-mail that I sent in today… it is for the “What’s on your mind” section of the show! 

Dear Ellen,

On Monday’s show you were talking about weird names for kids.  My friend and I have had many discussions about what we want to name our kids when we eventually find the right guys and get married.  Though I unfortunately will name my kids something normal, my friend Clarissa hopes to have twin boys so that she can name them “Djibouti BEAN” and “Mercutio BEAN”.  Djibouti is a country in Africa and Mercutio was a friend of Romeo’s in a famous Shakespearean play.  As for BEAN, it is just a great random word, and to have it be the middle name of just one kid would be unfair to the other.  Just so Clarissa doesn’t get mad at me for sharing this with you, I would like to warn anyone who tries to steal her ideas that we will hunt them down!  Now that I have said that, thank you for reading what’s on my mind.  Have a wonderful day! 

God bless,

Megan “I wish my middle name was BEAN”

"You all, everybody!"

While you are here, reading my nonsense, you should take my poll of nonsense!  Let me know what your favorite thing about spatulas is at www.spatulaland.com!  Click Here to take the poll!  You know you wanna!  Everybody’s doing it!  Come on!  Come on, do it!  Do it now!  Yeah, that’s right!  I am talking to…

"You all, everybody!"

One last note before I end my nonsense for today!  YAY for Jenny Geddes!  And to that I say…

"You all, everybody!"

Ooooh, oooh!  I just noticed something!  I actually made it through an entire entry with out mentioning the HA… so I just thought that I would mention the HA now!  Random thought about the HA… the HA’s A isn’t looking so H at the butt-crack of dawn!  Otay, my mission was accomplished!  I mentioned the HA, therefore continuing to the long held tradition of HA-ness!  Enough with the HA, already!

"You all, everybody!"